Homeschool Discipline: Part II

Take Action!

The second part of establishing homeschool discipline is correction. Part I of homeschool discipline is the setting and explaining of the rules. This eliminates many problems before they even arise. But when they do, the next step is to take action.

Here again we begin with the Bible. St. Paul in the First Letter to the Corinthians clearly states, "Love is patient, kind, bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

In addition, children deserve our respect because they are God's special creatures. "Suffer the little children to come to Me."

All homeschool discipline must be swift and consistent, but carried through with sensitivity.

Sometimes a parent must really take courage and remember that disciplining the child/teen is her responsibility, indeed, her duty.

When I found myself backing away from handling a situation, I always tried to visualize myself before God immediately after death.

How could I try to explain to Him that I allowed my child to run with bad companions because I was too lazy to step in or that I let him get away with not doing his work and not using his talents because I didn't want to face a yelling scene?

Believe me, this mental picture is a great motivator!

Do not be alarmed when you are challenged. It's natural. Why? Dr. James Dobson writes, "The answer is found in this curious value system of children which respects strength and courage (when combined with love)." "This respect for strength and courage also makes children want to know how "tough" their leaders are." It's your job to show them.

• Ask and Listen. Implement any reasonable suggestions about the schedule, chores, his desires.

• Your child/teen will really teach you how to rear him. Observe. Notice if there seems to be a problem. Address it immediately. For example, if a boy seems particularly restless, schedule an extra recess or time outdoors. If he seems lonely, invite some friends over.

• Adjust the school program to fit the child. Homeschool discipline problems crop up if the work is too easy, too hard or too repetitious.

• For a younger child, time out is a tried and true means to obedience. Use a timer.

• If a teen's behavior is unacceptable, he needs to retire to his room until he is under control. Explain that when he can act like a civilized person, he can rejoin everyone...and you look forward to his return. (Remember, his room has no TV, radio, phone, gaming system, etc. It does have lots of books.)

• Remind him once or twice about the rule, then it's time out or up to the room. (If there is no movement, physically take the child to the chair or room.)

• Have a grade schooler who is causing discipline problems during classes, sit right by you. Keep him focused.

• Sometimes a child/teen is not aware of time. He should be studying, but is daydreaming, totally oblivious of time slipping away. Set a timer right in front of him along with his daily schedule. He will be more conscious of his task and the time allotted.

• Use the Token System.

• Be discreet. A child/teen doesn't need to know everything. For instance, he doesn't need to know how you found out that he checked the answer key before handing in his test. You are the parent.

• Be creative. Think outside the box. Then share what works with other homeschooling parents.

• Continue to eliminate the negative and accentuate the positive.

  

• Most importantly, be quick to praise.

  Be generous...several times a day. Be honest. Don't say, "What a good job!" if he received a 70% on his math. He knows it's not a good job, and it devalues your praise. But you might be able to say, "Gosh, this is neatly done."

  If your youngster is having a really rough phase and nothing seems to be going right, you might have to dig very deep to find something--anything--on which to compliment him. But something will arise. Maybe he set the forks and knives in the right place for dinner. Maybe he read quietly to his little sister. Maybe he took out the trash.

  It's our job as a parent to discover that something and sincerely bring it to his attention.

When homeschool discipline is necessary, keep your voice firm and calm.

However, on rare occasions, it is OK to let your child/teen see your passion. His behavior is important to you, and it's important that he knows it's important. Repeat the rule once or twice, if he doesn't obey, then it's time out or up to the room. (If there is no movement, remember, physically take the child to the chair or room.)

Never, never plead or whine. You are the authority. Homeschool discipline is your part of your job.

Consider this analogy. If one is stopped for speeding, the trooper never, ever raises his voice. He is very polite. He may even smile. He simply says, "Ma'm, may I see your driver's license please?"

What is my reaction? My hands shake and begin to sweat... and I find that piece of paper as fast as I can. He doesn't need to shout or pull a gun. He knows--and I know--he has the authority. You, the parent, are the state trooper.

Parents work together on homeschool discipline. A united front is vital. If there is a problem or disagreement, discuss it between yourselves, then deal with the youngster. Correction must be immediate, so Mom actually does most of the day-to-day punishment, but Dad is the anchor.

Homeschool discipline consists of setting the rules, then enforcing them, but always with love. "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: that grace may be added to thy head, and a chain of gold to thy neck. (Proverbs)

Click here for Discipline: Part I--Set the Rules

Positives/Negatives in Disciplining

Use the Token System

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