Simple Discipline:

The Token System

Try the Token System as a positive homeschool discipline technique.

The idea here is to presume that the child/teen will behave as he should. Then do your utmost to make sure that he does.

Let's say your homeschooler has disobeyed. He clearly understood the rule. You have calmly re-explained it and re-warned him. Then, he again defiantly disregards that direction.

It's time for action!

First, eliminate all privileges--no sweets, no get-togethers, no 'phone calls, etc.

Then every school day for a week, give him three tokens. (You can use actual tokens, coins or whatever. We just used slash marks on the chalk board.) If he disobeys, erase/take away one token. A total number of tokens is assigned as the goal for the school week. Example: For a ten-year-old, 12 tokens might be assigned for the goal. (3 per day X 5 days=15, back out 3 for flub-ups)

If your youngster reaches his goal, celebrate with a pre-arranged treat. This might be a book or going out for ice cream or a pack of baseball cards. This system is very flexible. Adjust as needed, i.e., older kids, higher goals.

If a teen is having a particularly bad time, desperate measures might be needed. Implement this idea sparingly. Even with five children, I only used it twice.

Together with your child pick out something he really wants..and it can be big! Let's say a CD player. This is expensive, but well worth the cost. It's really important that you "nip it (behavior problem) in the bud." Don't let misbehavior gain a hold.

Set the goal: certain number of tokens in, say, a month. Make it difficult, but attainable. Give him three tokens per day minus some for mistakes. Tape a picture of the player on the wall and remind him of the situation when needed.

If he loses too many tokens to succeed, don't wait until the time period expires. Discuss it with him again. Plot a strategy to help him win this battle. Then restart the program. This maintains momentum and focuses on the goal, not the failure. The idea is that after a month of correcting a problem (or at least trying), the positive behavior will become normal, a habit.

Using tokens accentuates the positive and helps the child/teen establish good behavior as the norm.*

* When you discipline, you may be confronted with the angry reaction, "You're just trying to bribe me!"

Rather than back pedaling, sit down with him. Calmly and painstakingly explain the situation...the realities of life. Use examples.

I suggest you respond along this line. "You are absolutely right! You can call it bribery if you want to, but you can also call it natural consequences or a reward/punishment system. It's the way life works, Honey.

If your Dad went to work and didn't do the report his boss told him to do, what do you think would happen? Yes, of course, that's right. He'd get fired.

God works the same way. If we do what is right, we'll go to Heaven. If we choose to do what is seriously wrong, we'll be punished forever. This discipline is just God's formula."

Discipline now. Not only is it our obligation as parents, but also a great act of love.

Further Discipline Topics

Dad's Important Role in Homeschooling

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