Homeschooling Boys II:

Teenage Sons

Homeschooling boys is a challenge and a joy. It is also of utmost importance to your child, your family, the Church and society. We homeschoolers accept this responsibility of rearing future leaders. We must prepare ourselves with open and generous minds and hearts.

For younger boys, please look through the suggestions on the home education of sons, part I, discipline and helping the balky student.

For older homeschooling boys, please read the information linked above. Then consider the following practical ideas to homeschool for high school:

• Build in a few breaks throughout the day. Kill two birds with one stone: Have your son help with the manual chores--carry laundry baskets up and down the stairs, vacuum a room, etc.

• Use a timer. We all let time slip by. This will help him focus on his school assignments and learn to control himself.

• Do not be surprised or hurt if your teenager rebels at homeschooling with you, his Mom. Remember that he is growing into a man. It's natural for him to want to strike out on his own. Some homeschooling boys are more affected by this than others. The key is don't panic.

  Calmly(!) sit down with your husband and figure out a solution. Have confidence in your parental instincts.
  

  --Maybe Dad can teach or monitor at least one class.

  --Do you need to enroll or change homeschool programs? Does your homeschooling "school" have any help?

  In twenty years of home education, we switched homeschool curriculums once. Our son's best interests required it. With Mother of Divine Grace (the accredited program we use) and I'm sure many others, access to teacher assistance and direction is available for high school courses. The student answers to his assigned tutor.

  --Could your pastor or family friend help with a class?
  

  --Could you team teach?

  

  --Maybe you need to hire a tutor.

  This was our solution. When our oldest boy was in eighth grade, my husband and I had this sort of unnerving discussion. We thought our son needed more male influence with his education. To be honest, considering his God-given nature, I didn't think it wise for him to be home everyday, all day with only his Mom and little brothers and sisters. He needed more structure, space and challenge. School wasn't an option.

  We were blessed to find a newly-retired, Catholic gentleman who had taught for years at an all boys religious high school. He was a dissertation short of a Ph.D.

  Four other support group Moms and I put together a high school group for homeschooling boys and girls. Directed by our tutor, the study group meets twice a week at a church and follows the already mentioned program. This wonderful man and the study group are truly generous answers to our prayers.

• Say "Yes!" as much as possible. Be positive. Acquiesce to all reasonable requests.

• If necessary, don't be afraid to say "No." Explain why. Let your teenage boy understand that it is for him that you say no.

  "No, you can't go to that movie. It has an inappropriate (read--sex) scene." My husband and I preview any movie that may be questionable. (Yes, there I was at the midnight special screening of Mission Impossible III.)

• Set up your youngster for success. Prepare him. Watch his competence. Then let him spread his wings. We need to let our sons go step-by-step.

  For example, a guy's junior year subjects should include a test preparation class. Familiarize him with the ACT/SAT. Go over weak areas. Do practice quizzes. Give him a timed practice test. Then he will enter the tests with confidence and as fully competent as possible.

• Let your teen know how special he is. Compliment work that is worthy. Make his favorite dishes. Have a birthday party. Welcome his friends. Tell him you love him.

• Actively listen to him. Discuss topics of interest.

• Create fun times together...reading, games, sports and cultural activities, etc.

• Carefully think through any part-time job. Unless it is a bona fide internship or absolutely necessary for the good of the family, your son needn't have employment during the school year. School should be the focus.

  An even greater consideration is the possible intrusion of bad influences. Unfortunately, at many jobs our homeschooling boys meet other teens who can lead them astray. Not worth the risk!

• Do whatever is necessary for your youngster to have several wholesome friends.

• Make sure he has interests outside of school...sports...volunteering...music...4-H...animals/pets...any worthwhile hobby.

• Expect and insist that your son's behavior is that of a Christian guy. If it isn't, he can sit in his room and do without any privileges until his actions bespeak the great son that he is.

Homeschooling boys is a challenge, no doubt about it. But what an opportunity! We need to embrace it with humility and confidence and joy.

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