The Melancholic Temperament:

Thoughtful Vision

The melancholic temperament is that of the poet and saint. One with this disposition is usually a deep thinker and dreamer. Combined with compassion, he has an enormous potential to change hearts and lives and, in fact, the world in which we live.

However, both the weaknesses and strengths of the melancholic must be addressed. With thoughtful discipline and training, the youngster with this temperament can become a real influence for good.

The following are suggestions:

• Foster in the child of the melancholic temperament a true love of God and trust in Him. Help him develop confidence in God and himself. Point out how Our Father always knows what is happening and He constantly watches over each of us. Miraculous incidents are not just coincidences. Find examples from the Bible, lives of saints and holy people and especially in your life.

  Point out repeatedly that one only has to answer to God. A person only has to fulfill the role assigned to him...and God understands mistakes will be made. Do not try to live up to others' expectations. Conversely, do not put expectations on others.

• Help him grow to love the Cross. Because this temperament sometimes brings severe trials, in order not to succumb to despair and despondency, he must learn to bear suffering and see value in it. It is allowed for spiritual welfare. Meditation on the passion of Our Lord might aid the youngster.

• He needs to recall, especially if he is down about himself, "I may be seeing things too darkly." "It is not as bad as I imagine." He can think of his own meaningful saying, but whatever, it must be available when he needs it. Have him write it down in several places or make a sign, if necessary.

  It is vital that he consistently resist discouragement and aversion. These negatives must not be allowed to take root.

• One with the melancholic temperament is affected by how he physically feels. Be sure he eats well, exercises and gets plenty of rest.

• Encourage his strong points of inclination to meditation and love for his fellow man. Cultivate piety. Point out the good in others and remind him no one is perfect. Emphasize charity. This will also combat his natural tendency to focus on himself. Keep in mind that this is not selfishness.

• This child needs cheerfulness. Be optimistic...kind...friendly. Urge him on. Try to help him see the glass as half-full.

  As a parent, do not let yourself become discouraged by constantly having to help him re-focus. It is absolutely necessary with this personality. Have faith. He will learn how to cope, but until he does, it is the responsibility of the parents.

• Keep him busy but not overwhelmed. Watch his reactions and strike a balance.

• Teach him pay attention to and use his five senses. Especially watch for proper pronunciation of words.

Harshness does not help. Because he takes everything to heart and is very sensitive, severe or rough punishment only harms the melancholic. It can cause obstinacy, excessive reserve or bitter resentment. Discipline with firmness--of course--but also understanding and kindness.

From a little different angle, Reverend Conrad Hock states, "It is necessary to gain the confidence of the melancholic person. This is not at all easy and can be done only by giving him a good example in everything and by manifesting an unselfish and sincere love for him. Like an unfolding bud opens to the sun, so the heart of the melancholic person opens to the sunshine of kindness and love."

How very much worth it to help that bud unfold! It holds a sweet fragrance, exquisite beauty and touching softness.

The melancholic temperament awaits the patient nurturing of a loving parent.

The Melancholic Positives

The Melancholic Negatives

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